Wednesday, December 03, 2003
Queer Eye for the Metrosexual Guy --
Look, it's a decent show -- and since I live in DC and have no friends, I watch a lot of TV, so I miss nothing. I am up to date on Rich Girls, Real World, The Actor's Studio, SpongeBob SquarePants, you name it. I have one problem with Queer Eye though, they make everyone look gay. Yes, gay ... metrosexual is not a real word.
I like that they redo the guy's house, because I know that if I were left to my own devices my apartment would be a bottomless shithole too. They teach him to cook -- fair enough, we all need to eat. I don't always like the haircuts they give guys, but I have gotten the same haricut for ten years, so what the hell do I know.
Carson buys the guys nice clothes, but then he always goes that one extra step, like using a tie as a belt. Look, I have no problem with the gay community, but no straight man wears a tie as a belt. I thought maybe Axl Rose might have, but the photos are inconclusive. Ties are for necks, that's why their full name is "necktie". If you wear them anywhere else, You might as well put on high heels and crop off your nuts. So no, that is incorrect fashion for straights, be it 1961 or 2003.
But my real problem with the show is that they tell guys not to shave against the grain. If I didn't shave against the grain, it would be like I didn't shave at all. Maybe if you're that segment of the male population that is lucky enough never to advance beyond a 17 year old's wispy stubble you can just blot on some cucumber shave gel and effortlessly glide with the grain, but for battle-toads like me that have heavy beards, that just won't work. I go to war with my face and neck bi-daily just to keep from looking like a vagrant, so in that regard I must respectfully disagree.
Oh yeah, and Jai is totally useless.
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Look, it's a decent show -- and since I live in DC and have no friends, I watch a lot of TV, so I miss nothing. I am up to date on Rich Girls, Real World, The Actor's Studio, SpongeBob SquarePants, you name it. I have one problem with Queer Eye though, they make everyone look gay. Yes, gay ... metrosexual is not a real word.
I like that they redo the guy's house, because I know that if I were left to my own devices my apartment would be a bottomless shithole too. They teach him to cook -- fair enough, we all need to eat. I don't always like the haircuts they give guys, but I have gotten the same haricut for ten years, so what the hell do I know.
Carson buys the guys nice clothes, but then he always goes that one extra step, like using a tie as a belt. Look, I have no problem with the gay community, but no straight man wears a tie as a belt. I thought maybe Axl Rose might have, but the photos are inconclusive. Ties are for necks, that's why their full name is "necktie". If you wear them anywhere else, You might as well put on high heels and crop off your nuts. So no, that is incorrect fashion for straights, be it 1961 or 2003.
But my real problem with the show is that they tell guys not to shave against the grain. If I didn't shave against the grain, it would be like I didn't shave at all. Maybe if you're that segment of the male population that is lucky enough never to advance beyond a 17 year old's wispy stubble you can just blot on some cucumber shave gel and effortlessly glide with the grain, but for battle-toads like me that have heavy beards, that just won't work. I go to war with my face and neck bi-daily just to keep from looking like a vagrant, so in that regard I must respectfully disagree.
Oh yeah, and Jai is totally useless.
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