Friday, December 31, 2004
5 for '05
- Now that Dick Clark has relinguished his throne as host of the show everybody watches on mute until 12:59, he has no discernible reason to live. Over/under on how many weeks until he dies = 6.5
- People are born every single goddamn day. Yet for some reason, being the first baby of the new year merits notice. Probabilty of news story tomorrow on the first baby of the year = 100%
- Probability that mother of said baby scheduled her C-section accordingly AND had the press release prepared in advance = 33%
- Who will replace Briscoe on Law & Order? That's an easy one -- television robot Regis model 2K5.
- I've buried a treasure chest full of gold coins in the cellar of an abandoned lighthouse off Labrador Island. Meet me there at dusk.
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