MAMA SAID EAT YOUR VEGETABLES

I was walking my dog off the leash last night when I came upon a little old lady. She was clearly frightened by my dog, so I called her over and put her back on the leash to walk by. As I passed, the old lady said to me in a real nasty way, "Never keep your dog off the leash please, it's dangerous." Now I would love to write a post about how much it annoys me when old people mouth off like they have some kind of age-bestowed authority that gives them license to tell the able how to live ... but I'm not.

What I don't get it how some people are so deathly afraid of dogs. I can understand if it's a pitbull or a doberman, but my dog is the mangiest little mutt going. She honestly wouldn't hurt a fly.

So I wrote a song in the mock epic ride-of-the-valkyrie style about my Sheba dog's terrible exploits. Hopefully this will drive terror into the hearts of all those who do not fear family dogs and make them realize what great danger they live in ...

Sheba dog,
she's a crazy dog,
she's a crazy psycho killer dog,
Her iron heart was forged in Satan's lair.

That's basically it. I could go on about how she led the Huns across Europe, manned the Paris gun in WWI, and taught the Vietcong how to dig tunnels, but that's such common knowledge it would be pointless.


|