Thursday, May 12, 2005
OK not OK
Thanks to Evan for emailing me a new copy of OK Computer. Because I am an idiot, about 2/3 of my CDs are hopelessly scratched. That's what happens when you stack them 15 high on the dresser, and then the whole things topples over like some Brit-rock tower of Piza.
In any case, OK Computer is amazing. I remember well when I first got it ... whenever the hell that was. 1997? It was the first thing I ever bought on the internet, which seems fitting in a way. If you want to know what I was like as a 16 year old, what thoughts were going through my testosterone-drunk head, listening to OK Computer would be a damn fine start.
I did not give a shit about anything.
And not in the typical teenage boy sort of way. Because I did care about lots of things, like grades, etc. As a matter of fact, scholastic success was the highest good attainable to me at the time, the be-all and end-all. And luckily for me, it came so damn easily. What I mean is, that even at such a formative age, I was a hopeless skeptic, a nihilist, a misanthrope, and a general know-it-all. Worst of all, I was an arrogant little fuck. Not the popular kid's arrogance, or the jock's, but the worst kind of arrogance, the quiet arrogance of the kid that thinks he's always the smartest person in the room.
Obviously, people change a lot from 16 to 24 and so have I. Mostly for the better I think. I'm a lot more humble now, and I appreciate things better. I'm a lot easier on myself and others. But I've got to admit, there was a lot about myself at 16 that I really liked. Back then, I would argue just for the fun of it -- pick fights with the liberals at school (back then I was a barn-burning convervative, of course). I took a lot of joy in being ganged up on by all my classmates. I took that stuff personally, I was passionate about it. I had a chip on my shoulder and felt that I had to constantly prove something to someone.
I'm a lot more relaxed nowadays ... although you'd never know it by reading this blog.
|
In any case, OK Computer is amazing. I remember well when I first got it ... whenever the hell that was. 1997? It was the first thing I ever bought on the internet, which seems fitting in a way. If you want to know what I was like as a 16 year old, what thoughts were going through my testosterone-drunk head, listening to OK Computer would be a damn fine start.
I did not give a shit about anything.
And not in the typical teenage boy sort of way. Because I did care about lots of things, like grades, etc. As a matter of fact, scholastic success was the highest good attainable to me at the time, the be-all and end-all. And luckily for me, it came so damn easily. What I mean is, that even at such a formative age, I was a hopeless skeptic, a nihilist, a misanthrope, and a general know-it-all. Worst of all, I was an arrogant little fuck. Not the popular kid's arrogance, or the jock's, but the worst kind of arrogance, the quiet arrogance of the kid that thinks he's always the smartest person in the room.
Obviously, people change a lot from 16 to 24 and so have I. Mostly for the better I think. I'm a lot more humble now, and I appreciate things better. I'm a lot easier on myself and others. But I've got to admit, there was a lot about myself at 16 that I really liked. Back then, I would argue just for the fun of it -- pick fights with the liberals at school (back then I was a barn-burning convervative, of course). I took a lot of joy in being ganged up on by all my classmates. I took that stuff personally, I was passionate about it. I had a chip on my shoulder and felt that I had to constantly prove something to someone.
I'm a lot more relaxed nowadays ... although you'd never know it by reading this blog.
|
