Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Yesterday, tomorrow, today
Memorial Day weekend fools. I know I'm excited. I don't understand why people call it the "unofficial" beginning of summer. It was 91 degrees here in DC this weekend ... that's official enough for me.
The last paragraph reads like somebody learning to drive stick.
"drive stick" ?? Odd combination of words. Funny that people used to call me that in high school.
What I am not looking forward to is the train ride to NY -- Union Station is going to be absolutley fucking mobbed. If I have to stand all the way to Philadelphia or Wilmington or basically if I have to stand at all, that will suck badly.
The last time I took the train from NY to DC, it was mobbed. I got a seat, though, so I was okay. SO then I go to get a cop of coffee. I swear to God this train had to be 10 miles long. And of course I was in the first car and the dining car had to be the last. So I'm walking down the aisle, crawling over all the disgruntled people that couldn't find seat. Finally I get to the dining car. There's about 15 people ahead of me on line. For all those that don't know, there is no government employee who gives less of a shit about being efficient than the Amtrak dining car attendant. And then, when I'm about fifth in line, the electricity goes off. With the electricity off, the guy can't OPEN THE FUCKING REGISTER! SO now I'm incrementally more heated. Okay I get my coffee and I trek the full length of the train back to my seat, now across even more disgruntled standers.
I make it back to my seat. I sit down. I had to pick up my CD player which was on the seat, so when I sit down, I put the coffee in my lap, CD player in one hand, and with the other I try to open the tray. Guess what?
The tray flies open like it was shot out of a goddamn cannon, slams into the coffee cup, shooting molten-hot coffee all over my crotch and my shirt. I am literally covered in java.
After about ten minutes of anger, disbelief, more anger, and finally, acceptance, I have the great idea to change clothes in the bathroom.
I do that, and the woman that was sitting next to me (who luckily for her own sake did not say a fucking word) left, so I took her seat and left my puddle of joe for some other unsuspecting fool.
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The last paragraph reads like somebody learning to drive stick.
"drive stick" ?? Odd combination of words. Funny that people used to call me that in high school.
What I am not looking forward to is the train ride to NY -- Union Station is going to be absolutley fucking mobbed. If I have to stand all the way to Philadelphia or Wilmington or basically if I have to stand at all, that will suck badly.
The last time I took the train from NY to DC, it was mobbed. I got a seat, though, so I was okay. SO then I go to get a cop of coffee. I swear to God this train had to be 10 miles long. And of course I was in the first car and the dining car had to be the last. So I'm walking down the aisle, crawling over all the disgruntled people that couldn't find seat. Finally I get to the dining car. There's about 15 people ahead of me on line. For all those that don't know, there is no government employee who gives less of a shit about being efficient than the Amtrak dining car attendant. And then, when I'm about fifth in line, the electricity goes off. With the electricity off, the guy can't OPEN THE FUCKING REGISTER! SO now I'm incrementally more heated. Okay I get my coffee and I trek the full length of the train back to my seat, now across even more disgruntled standers.
I make it back to my seat. I sit down. I had to pick up my CD player which was on the seat, so when I sit down, I put the coffee in my lap, CD player in one hand, and with the other I try to open the tray. Guess what?
The tray flies open like it was shot out of a goddamn cannon, slams into the coffee cup, shooting molten-hot coffee all over my crotch and my shirt. I am literally covered in java.
After about ten minutes of anger, disbelief, more anger, and finally, acceptance, I have the great idea to change clothes in the bathroom.
I do that, and the woman that was sitting next to me (who luckily for her own sake did not say a fucking word) left, so I took her seat and left my puddle of joe for some other unsuspecting fool.
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