Tuesday, January 06, 2004
Lord of the Fez --
For Halloween I wore a fez, some zany coke bottle glasses, and a horrendous flower-print tie ... I was a Shriner, get it? I would have worn a tweed jacket with some elbow patches to round the look off, but I don't have one and it was kind of a last minute thing -- I really wanted to be Kim Jung Il but i didn't know where to get a jumpsuit and some elevator shoes.
In any case, I did a bit of internet research to get at the essence of what it means to be a Shriner, and what I found was disturbing. Sure, they ride funny little cars and build children's hospitals, but under that veneer of benign weirdness and phony altruism lies an evil evil core of homoerotic Satan-mongering and pyramind scheme economics.
Irregardless of their black hearts, I want to join their league of merry gentlemen anyways, and, as I know of no other way to declare my intentions, consider this my coming out, as it were.
So just point me in the direction of the high pagan temple, give me a human skull full to the brim with sweet virgin blood, slap a glorious cylindrical hat on top of my silly head, and call me Grand Potentate Arraboz Shazbot.
Nanu nanu.
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For Halloween I wore a fez, some zany coke bottle glasses, and a horrendous flower-print tie ... I was a Shriner, get it? I would have worn a tweed jacket with some elbow patches to round the look off, but I don't have one and it was kind of a last minute thing -- I really wanted to be Kim Jung Il but i didn't know where to get a jumpsuit and some elevator shoes.
In any case, I did a bit of internet research to get at the essence of what it means to be a Shriner, and what I found was disturbing. Sure, they ride funny little cars and build children's hospitals, but under that veneer of benign weirdness and phony altruism lies an evil evil core of homoerotic Satan-mongering and pyramind scheme economics.
Irregardless of their black hearts, I want to join their league of merry gentlemen anyways, and, as I know of no other way to declare my intentions, consider this my coming out, as it were.
So just point me in the direction of the high pagan temple, give me a human skull full to the brim with sweet virgin blood, slap a glorious cylindrical hat on top of my silly head, and call me Grand Potentate Arraboz Shazbot.
Nanu nanu.
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