Sunday, September 04, 2005
A Day at the Maryland State Fair
Only in America would there be a major holiday called "Labor Day". I would prefer "Leisure Day" or "Relaxation Monday".
In any case, today Beth and I made a trip up to Lutherville Timonium, Maryland for the annual Maryland State Fair.
The day opened with a bang, as we were fortunate enough to catch the dramatic entrance of the four and six-horse hitch team competitors.
These cow-folks stormed in with a cloud of dust and a chip on their shoulder, taking first place in both events.
After coming in last place in both events, this team of horses let their emotions show by snapping their reins and attempting to trample their opposition. Order was restored when officials produced several carrots and a salt lick.
We made a lot of animal friends today as well. Here's Beth with a brand new bovine friend.
I took the opportunity to bond with some alpacas, which are apparently NOT exactly the same as llamas ... who knew?
Several celebrities were also in attendance, including Ben the Budweiser Clydesdale,
AND the 2005 Maryland Lamb and Wool Queen.
There was also a "Dairy Princess", "Alternate Dairy Princess", and "Dairy Maid".
I'm sad to say that there was also some ugliness that marred the day's festivities, as we learned when we visited the Swine Judging Arena.
The smell inside the Swine Judging Arena was overpowering -- truly unique in both character and strength.
This interacial couple has been happily married for many years. Unfortunately, mixed couples are still frowned upon in livestock judging circles south of the Mason-Dixon line. These two have been barred from dozens of shows because of their forbidden love.
"If loving you is wrong -- then I don't want to be right."
Word of this barnyard romance quickly spread, leading to an unfortunate encounter with a contingent of the Sheep Ku Klux Klan. This member, who insisted that I call him Grand High HerdMaster, told me, "Pork is called the other white meat for a reason. As sheep we must defend our snowy white wool coats from being soiled by those that roll around in their own piss and shit. Baaaaaaahhhhh!!!"
Many of the Klansheep brandished Rebel Daggers, which they purchased for $25 at the souvenir stand.
This was really on sale in the gift tent, along with an assortment of Confederate belt buckles and flags.
We were intent on not letting this display ruin our day. To ease her mind, Beth treated herself to a delicious funnel cake.
I was not so thrilled to be abandoning my new low-carb regime quite so soon.
"Fuck you Poppinfresh."
This cow's name is Biscuit and she was very friendly, letting all the people pet her and her young calf.
Seconds later this cow took an enormous shit that forced everybody to scatter.
On the ride home, we took a detour through a part of D.C. we are unfamiliar with. This is the only round house I have ever seen in my life.
Here's the house from another angle in case you don't believe me. Check the position of the front door and the windows above the door ... this house is round as a bitch. How do you arrange furniture?
It was a good day. We saw new places, met some great new animals, and learned a thing or two about the dangers of prejudice.
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In any case, today Beth and I made a trip up to Lutherville Timonium, Maryland for the annual Maryland State Fair.
The day opened with a bang, as we were fortunate enough to catch the dramatic entrance of the four and six-horse hitch team competitors.
These cow-folks stormed in with a cloud of dust and a chip on their shoulder, taking first place in both events.
After coming in last place in both events, this team of horses let their emotions show by snapping their reins and attempting to trample their opposition. Order was restored when officials produced several carrots and a salt lick.
We made a lot of animal friends today as well. Here's Beth with a brand new bovine friend.
I took the opportunity to bond with some alpacas, which are apparently NOT exactly the same as llamas ... who knew?
Several celebrities were also in attendance, including Ben the Budweiser Clydesdale,
AND the 2005 Maryland Lamb and Wool Queen.
There was also a "Dairy Princess", "Alternate Dairy Princess", and "Dairy Maid".
The smell inside the Swine Judging Arena was overpowering -- truly unique in both character and strength.
"If loving you is wrong -- then I don't want to be right."Word of this barnyard romance quickly spread, leading to an unfortunate encounter with a contingent of the Sheep Ku Klux Klan. This member, who insisted that I call him Grand High HerdMaster, told me, "Pork is called the other white meat for a reason. As sheep we must defend our snowy white wool coats from being soiled by those that roll around in their own piss and shit. Baaaaaaahhhhh!!!"
Many of the Klansheep brandished Rebel Daggers, which they purchased for $25 at the souvenir stand.
This was really on sale in the gift tent, along with an assortment of Confederate belt buckles and flags.We were intent on not letting this display ruin our day. To ease her mind, Beth treated herself to a delicious funnel cake.
I was not so thrilled to be abandoning my new low-carb regime quite so soon.
"Fuck you Poppinfresh."This cow's name is Biscuit and she was very friendly, letting all the people pet her and her young calf.
Seconds later this cow took an enormous shit that forced everybody to scatter.On the ride home, we took a detour through a part of D.C. we are unfamiliar with. This is the only round house I have ever seen in my life.
Here's the house from another angle in case you don't believe me. Check the position of the front door and the windows above the door ... this house is round as a bitch. How do you arrange furniture?
It was a good day. We saw new places, met some great new animals, and learned a thing or two about the dangers of prejudice.
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