Monday, February 14, 2005
If you've got the money honey, I've got the time
Valentine's Day is such a ripoff holiday. $72 for a dozen roses ... are you crazy ?!? Do you know how many starving children that can feed? Not to mention what I'd really do with that money -- that's something like one million Bazooka Joe. If I had that much gum I'd be living on high street till G-d knows when.
But aw shucks, it ain't to be. I done been bit by the penis bug sose I have to buy all these here stuffs what to prove my manhood.
Primitive peoples give heads of cattle as gifts ... we should go back to that. One cow costs something like $1,000. One diamond ring costs a lot more. I can't imagine anybody wanting more than one cow, so I feel that the cow system has distinct benefits over our current karatocracy.
I also heard on the radio that the Russell Stovers family made all their money by selling stolen art during WWII, and that the candy company started as a way to launder all their blood money.
Did you know that nougat is a confection made from a sugar or honey paste into which nuts are mixed.
CHOKE ON THESE NOUGATS FUCKTARDS !!
Sorry, I'm going through an anger cycle. It's because there's no good sports going on. Do you know what it's like watching ESPNews these days? I'm so sick of hearing about the ACC I'm almost motivated to find out what it is ... something about putting black guys through college, but I'm not sure how.
Whyfor?...
Here are some one-liners from when this blog used to be funny (Note how spot on the second one is -- it was from 12/03):
A diamond is for what now ...
I have had it with diamond adverts. First off, they are exclusively aimed at men. Why the fuck for? -- I thought with womyn's lib and all now they can buy expensive gifts for loved ones too. Whatever.
One billboard I saw on the train really set me off, though -- it showed a redunkulously large sparkling necklace against a stark black background with the words, "Why do you think so many kids are born in September."
Why don't you just come right out and say it -- "Give us a few grand and we'll get your dick wet" ??
FIN.
|
But aw shucks, it ain't to be. I done been bit by the penis bug sose I have to buy all these here stuffs what to prove my manhood.
Primitive peoples give heads of cattle as gifts ... we should go back to that. One cow costs something like $1,000. One diamond ring costs a lot more. I can't imagine anybody wanting more than one cow, so I feel that the cow system has distinct benefits over our current karatocracy.
I also heard on the radio that the Russell Stovers family made all their money by selling stolen art during WWII, and that the candy company started as a way to launder all their blood money.
Did you know that nougat is a confection made from a sugar or honey paste into which nuts are mixed.
CHOKE ON THESE NOUGATS FUCKTARDS !!
Sorry, I'm going through an anger cycle. It's because there's no good sports going on. Do you know what it's like watching ESPNews these days? I'm so sick of hearing about the ACC I'm almost motivated to find out what it is ... something about putting black guys through college, but I'm not sure how.
Whyfor?...
Here are some one-liners from when this blog used to be funny (Note how spot on the second one is -- it was from 12/03):
- Do you think Powell feels more marginalized in the administration now because he doesn't have a prostate?
A diamond is for what now ...
I have had it with diamond adverts. First off, they are exclusively aimed at men. Why the fuck for? -- I thought with womyn's lib and all now they can buy expensive gifts for loved ones too. Whatever.
One billboard I saw on the train really set me off, though -- it showed a redunkulously large sparkling necklace against a stark black background with the words, "Why do you think so many kids are born in September."
Why don't you just come right out and say it -- "Give us a few grand and we'll get your dick wet" ??
FIN.
|
