Wednesday, March 08, 2006
The highest form of flattery
Man, I really want a dog. Our lease says no pets, but the people upstairs have a dog, so I want a dog too. I think they know that they're not supposed to have one, because they are maaaaaad secretive about their little canine bundle of joy. I wonder if they know that our landlord lives next door? Probably not, because it took me about 6 months to figure that one out. I also wonder if they know that when the weather gets nicer, the landlord mows the lawn out front/tends to the garden every weekend? Doubt that they know that one either.
Like I said, these people are very secretive with their pooch. They've had it for about two months, but I've still never seen it. I've seen them walking a leash a couple of times, but the dog was hidden behind the bushes. And I can hear him run around upstairs, so I know he's there. He doesn't bark, which is a good thing for me and even a better thing for them -- because I don't take kindly to noise. Like when they run their dishwasher at 12:30 every night.
I should note that all of the appliances in my apartment are like 20 years old. We've had our dishwasher and air conditioner replaced because they were literally falling apart. The landlord is a bit of a cheapskate. Like, our washer in coin operated. One time the landlord decided to come and take the money out of the machine while I had stuff in the washer, thus stopping the washer. I had to put another dollar in to start it back up -- that fucker owes me a dollar. And since he lives right nextdoor, it wasn't exactly essential that he take the money out right then -- dickhead.
Anyway, before we had our dishwasher replaced, it made terrible awful sounds -- basically it sounded like it was about to explode. Any person with common sense would know that the thing was on the fritz. Well, this is the sound that the people upstairs' dishwasher makes. That's OK, I'll fix their ass -- I'm gonna buy a dog whistle.
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Like I said, these people are very secretive with their pooch. They've had it for about two months, but I've still never seen it. I've seen them walking a leash a couple of times, but the dog was hidden behind the bushes. And I can hear him run around upstairs, so I know he's there. He doesn't bark, which is a good thing for me and even a better thing for them -- because I don't take kindly to noise. Like when they run their dishwasher at 12:30 every night.
I should note that all of the appliances in my apartment are like 20 years old. We've had our dishwasher and air conditioner replaced because they were literally falling apart. The landlord is a bit of a cheapskate. Like, our washer in coin operated. One time the landlord decided to come and take the money out of the machine while I had stuff in the washer, thus stopping the washer. I had to put another dollar in to start it back up -- that fucker owes me a dollar. And since he lives right nextdoor, it wasn't exactly essential that he take the money out right then -- dickhead.
Anyway, before we had our dishwasher replaced, it made terrible awful sounds -- basically it sounded like it was about to explode. Any person with common sense would know that the thing was on the fritz. Well, this is the sound that the people upstairs' dishwasher makes. That's OK, I'll fix their ass -- I'm gonna buy a dog whistle.
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